The Power Of Self-validation

By Aishat Bello 

In a world that is largely reliant on external opinions and social validation, placing a higher importance on self-validation is very important. The constant need for validation from others is sometimes an invisible shackle that limits self-development and authenticity. The art of not looking for the validation of others is the path toward the real freedom.

The process of self - discovery is highly personal. Deep within yourself let be your boundless individual experiences, views and thoughts. Refrain from the trap of comparing your story to others, as all stories are unique. Understand that validation from external parties cannot portray the fullness of your abilities.

It is very important to realise that real confidence and self-respect come from deep within. Rather than look to an external validation, consider the recognition of what you have already accomplished and identified as your strength. Grasp that the other people’s applauds or recognition while it may be a source of encouragement, cannot define you as a person. You determine your own value.

Question societal norms and measure your success based on your values and aspirations. Recognize that society`s validation is usually about societal expectations, which might be different from what you really want. Pursue goals that are consistent with your genuine self, and don't care about the approval by the external indicators.

Be kind to yourself. See self-compassion as the strongest antidote to the need of validation Be aware that every person commits errors, face challenges, and suffers disappointments. Be tolerant and sympathetic towards yourself the same way as you would be tolerant and sympathetic towards a friend. Being free of the need to seek approval all the time is essentially the springboard for authentic development.

Build relationships with those that appreciate you as you are, not as somebody expects the you to be. Authentic connections grow on reciprocal respect, comprehension, and acceptance. Hang out with people who accept you and allow you to be your authentic self.

Also note that validation often comes in grand gestures but the real delight comes from recognizing and cherishing small victories. Develop a habit of recognizing your accomplishments; even minor ones. It gives the internal feeling of achievement, paving the way to need of no other validation than the one generated within ourselves.

Mastering the ability to go without validation is an inward journey of self-discovery. The end of constant search for the external approval so deemed by the society is the beginning of originality, resilience and inner peace. Through acceptance of your special self and appreciation of your inner worth, you venture on the road that leads not only to your self-actualization, but also to deeper understanding of everyone else.

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